ok i’m writing this on my phone because i’m going shopping at the supermarket with her family who are worried i’m not eating right

monday

  • 2 days until flight

tuesday

  • 1 day until flight

wednesday / miércoles

  • day of flight
  • no wifi on the plane
  • on the flight: i listened to some podcasts, made a little music, wrote a basic nanoloop clone for the Playdate
  • nearly exploded on the plane. she had a panic attack waiting. all is well
  • she brought me flowers. they are beautiful, yellow. i found a makeshift ad-hoc vase for them in a pint cup from some festival that was in the cupboard at my hotel
  • we we’re goofy as fuck in el aeropuerto and did not know what to do with ourselves, each other (we know now)
  • we couldn’t find my apartamento but eventually a lovely lady found us and brought us up. she did not speak english. i don’t know what i would have done without sofia there, honestly.
  • nuestro primo besito after five flights of concrete stairs, “¿would you give me a little kiss?”, red couch, every time i stand up i bang my head on that fucking chandelier. i’m not even very tall
  • ate a sausage-shaped food made almost entirely of cheese that came on a stick
  • strong feelings, concrete stairwells, what’s a girl to do
  • i slept on the couch for a few hours like “¿?”
  • i could do this again

jueves

  • bought some eggies, made some breakfast.
  • bought some beans, some tostadas. made some lunch
  • went to the L’Imperatrice concert. it was the most fun in the world. my arm folded over her chest while they shout “merci beaucoup mexico” is somehow so powerful i could cry every time i think about it. cerveza (or, as our spanish friends say, therbethath), tequila (rip), mezcal.
  • the band was so good and the crowd were amazing
  • there are meek people walking through the crowd with trays of full beers above their heads and they are gently announcing “cerveza..! cerveza..!” and when someone in the crowd wants one they will scream “CHELA!!!! ¡¡¡¡¡¡¡CHELLLLLAAAAA!!!!!!!” at them
  • sitting on the floor outside the bank we said i love you. we walked for hours. “i never want this night to end”
  • i could do this again

viernes

  • i worked on CORN. it’s basically complete now.
  • just drank micheladas and worked on CORN and made mayonesa de atún and ate it with tostadas
  • CORN is basically ready to release now but i think it needs one last song. probably called “cascadas el paraíso” or maybe “gran cascada”
  • went to bed early so i could get up at 5am to meet bebé at the bus station at 6ish (turned out to be 7ish)

sábado

  • i do not know how i can write this day. especially not on mi teléfono.
  • met her dad at the bus station. he fist bumped me twice and told me to enjoy my travels. i did enjoy my travels. gracias, señor.
  • i literally have no idea how to talk about this day.
  • we took the bus at 7am, we travelled 3 hours and then switched to another bus and travelled another hour
  • we walked through the Honey arches and reached a cab which brought us to the entrance of Cascadas El Paraíso
  • we had so much fun on the buses, on the walk, on the taxi. from the taxi window we saw a dog lying in a corn field in the sun, truly living a dog’s life.
  • we got our tickets to the waterfalls, walked a little through the woods eating fresh white guavas, and i sat with my legs dangling over a rocky edge and talked to a perro
  • the perro said “¡follow me!” and ran on ahead, we followed and saw the big rope bridge. we ascended a little hill following a sign that told us there were Mexican treats ahead. we got up and sat on the grass in the most beautiful hills and mountains with buildings below and bought some water and drank some clamato and then we walked across the rope bridge
  • it was made more scary by some dudes behind us jumping and shaking on the bridge. when we got to the other side and those dudes followed behind i noticed they were all bikers wearing leather cuts. sofia shouted at them for shaking the bridge and scaring me, something like “oh you were having fun clowning around acting like a 15 year old” and letting them know their actions affected other people in a funny but serious way. sí, my baby took on a biker gang to protect me, that is correct.
  • we learned then that the bridge was the exit and we needed to now go back over the bridge in order to see the waterfalls.
  • we sat by a little natural pool above a great waterfall, and sofia got in and paddled around. also slipping around. fell right in the water. left her pants on a rock, sat on another rock that was the edge of a cliff and looked cute. it was a lovely time.
  • we went to a little place and bought some pulque, then went another little place and got a quesadilla each. it was super duper delicious. clamato opened in my backpack and all my stuff smells like clamato cubans. it’s actually pretty good.
  • we were faced with a choice with a real metaphor feel, do we want to see one big beautiful waterfall or several little waterfalls? big waterfall, baby. real metaphorheads know.
  • splashed in the water, climbed over rocks, slipped, i soaked my shoes. we climbed and jumped and slipped and skipped our way to a private sunbeam. we kissed, she peed, (gracias diosa por protegernos en este espacio tuyo), we thanked the goddesses and left that beam
  • it turned out we had the time to go to some more waterfalls. there were two little plants growing from either side of the path as if they wanted to touch. sofia gave them a little help and they finally got to be together, though some old half-dead leaf fell off one of them when it was pulled. real metaphorheads know.
  • there is not enough ink on the internet for me to write about everything that happened
  • in the other waterfall i got more naked than i’ve ever been in public while fat. i walked in the water, and stood under its heavy drops and splashed about and we took pictures.
  • we made our way to the exit, cascada by cascada
  • we saw some impossible orange moon? it may have been a goddess in the form of a giant sincronizada? a new moon lit by earthshine? who knows. it was a beautiful Honey moon.
  • we didn’t have enough money to get a taxi back so we walked the forty mins back to Honey down dirt roads with cows and lambs and we talked about everything everything everything as the sunset turned to dusk. we got back to late to get our bus, so we walked back up the road to get a taxi.
  • it took a long time to find a taxi that was free to take us; we sat on the steps of some little plaza and talked about everything everything everything and waited. there was this wild little doggy who had lost his voice and kept barking with breath only WHUFF WHUFF. he took a liking to us and stayed near us.
  • we got back to the bus station to learn no buses were leaving until 5a.m. so we got a little hotel room across the road and
  • i could do this again

domingo

  • we got up at 4am spent a few hours getting ready in the hotel room
  • got a little snack
  • got a bus to méxico city
  • went for a walk, jumped on a random bus and jumped off the moment we saw barbacoa.
  • ate barbacoa tacos with delicious salsa. “a great combination. barbacoa and you”
  • in a taxi now to meet her family to go shopping.

  • her mother told me ‘come bien’
  • i’m nervous with them and hope it doesn’t come off as aloofness or unfriendly
  • after shopping we walked around her area of the city a bit, and then sat on a step and talked about everything everything everything
  • i left my phone in the taxi when we were on the way to my place to drop off the groceries.
    • we contacted the driver afterwards and got it back
    • he said he’d take 45 mins
    • he took well over an hour
    • we got so hungry and dehydrated. we were meant to be dropping off the food then going for tacos. we are incredibly skillful at narrowly avoiding tacos when we are very hungry and surrounded by tacos.
    • we sat on a step and talked about everything everything everything
  • we are back in our respective homes now
  • we are hungry ghosts
  • i could do this again

it’s good to know we can talk for like 28 hours straight and then split for 2 hours and then talk for another bunch more hours and then go to our separate homes and still want to talk more. i’m so depleted. my body, my mind, my everything, all used up. honestly, i should be dead on my feet. but i’m somehow still so alive.


note: happy international workers day.

note: this marks 1 year that i’ve been doing a blog post every Sunday.

mm. being patted down by a man in the security line. that’s some sweet sweet gender dysphoria

that combination of being made intensely gender dysphoric and then immediately touched in intimate places by a man

and knowing i have no choice, because he is the Threshold Guardian and i need to do this to pass

incredibly powerful

gonna go cry in a bathroom!!!!