hello!

i’m back in the country of LONDON, ENGLAND!

last Sunday night we went out all night for dinner, beer, cocktails and tequila. eventually i had to bribe a cop. there’s no use pointing fingers. it’s the mature thing to do as the innocent person in the matter not to start directing blame around the place.

was looking at some pictures of myself. have you ever noticed i look like i’m trying to sneak the world’s largest egg out of a museum? it’s not just that i’m fat, i’m impossibly round. i’m like dr robotnik. i’ve always hated that needlemouse. people go to SegaWorld to say hi to Sonic, to shake hands with Sonic. what the fuck? all he wants is your Power Sneakers that make him fast enough to break the sound barrier and turn him blue. he’ll try to get the Grey Emerald but fail and then you’ll trip over holding a rotten egg, and chaos energy will spill all over you turning you into an evil egg doctor like jeff goldblum. he’s like 30 years old, it’s creepy. I simply don’t trust him.

I’ve been working from Mexico City and it’s been fine. getting up at 5am and finishing work at 1pm. having breakfast about 7-8am and lunch with Jimena at 2pm. it’s a pretty good schedule.

you ever use the powers of empathy and then you’re like “geez louise”?

cheemena is good, right? like brangelina?

We had such beautiful nights sitting on the floor and talking, and dancing to music in the bedroom. OK?

On Tuesday we spent a long time saying goodbye. Too long? ¡Yes! I missed my flight! I went into the deep dark hole in an airport Chili’s but you know it turned out fine really. though it did eat a big chunk of my July budget.

Wednesday was a lovely day, really. A nice lunch and a good goodbye at a mall. The last thing she said to me was “see ya”, which was a cute throwback to our first date all those years ago (about 7 weeks ago).

I unexpectedly switched off on Monday. Disconnected from myself. Far away inside. Not been feeling feelings. Some kind of defence mechanism? Haven’t enjoyed it. Except that one time when I was in the shower and i kneeled on the floor for 30-40 seconds and cried with 0 thoughts. Then got back up and finished showering. I enjoyed that. Anyway, the veil seems to be lifting now because I felt several hundred feelings today. It’s been tough as a big Feelings Haver, a true feelings-head like myself. Anyway, we’re back in action now.

Oh yeah I forgot. When I got back on Thursday night I went out with someone from work and had a drink and a good chat. It was good. Maybe had 1.5 too many drinks. think I was avoiding going home. i walked home singing The Paris Sisters’ I Love How You Love Me at the top of my voice in the streets. Also played it (poorly) on the public piano in Lewisham train station.

On Friday I worked, and on Friday night we had a long video call and watched Derry Girls. trying to find the line between honest and gushy here. but honestly i’m very gushy, i can barely shut up. i know it was more interesting before when with the blood and ketamine, but this is what ya got. here is an actual photograph of me: 🥰

On Saturday i spent a lot of the day napping, and tidying. My sleep schedule is all ahoot, my apartment is fuckadoodle. Sunday was nappish too. Anyway.

If anyone wants to hang out, text me.

my doctor told me to run 5 miles every day for 2 weeks.
I called him up,  “Doc! I’m 70 miles from my house!”

Rodney Dangerfield

before i met my wife i was incomplete, now i’m finished!

norm macdonald